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image from The Newyorker.com
Well we just wanted to celebrate on behalf of all of our gay and fabulous brothers and sisters in the USA and say ‘Hooray!’. We are feeling very rhymey today but that’s because it’s a Gay Day in the USA!!!!
Just in case you don’t understand what all that means, let us help you.
Oh yes we did. Did you get that you mean American homophobes!
It’s all about this now!
And in case you need some help understanding.
Enough gloating now. It’s time for Act of Gay to present you with the sort of miracle that demonstrates the power of the gays and what happens when you’re good to them. Well, Gay USA – you’re stock market is taking off in a big way! Do I hear you say hooray????
Congratulations America and all our American Queer friends, fans, followers, reporters and everyone else. Things can only just keep getting better!
American Stock Market Gets a Hard On for the Gays
Act of Gay says ‘Grab your hotdog, squirt your mustard and get on and ride cowboy!’ Today is a day to celebrate. Not since Kraft Food’s last foodtastic gay marketing campaign for Oreos, have we seen a food item we want so badly.
So now let’s share what has the mustard world so happy and gay.
From HuffingtonPost.com
Kraft proudly captioned this image with
“June is National Pride month. Though the festivities technically only last a month, we recommend celebrating all year – because Pride and good taste never go out of season.”
Act of Gay of course feels the need to respond at times like these and so we’re very happy to announce that good things befall individuals, companies and countries that are nice to the gays. In honor of Kraft’s gay credibility, we would like to announce that Kraft stocks continue to rise exponentially and despite predictions to the contrary, their returns are remarkable. See what happens when you’re nice to gays. Other companies take heed as we have the power to send Act of Gay in your direction!
The rest of you, go out and buy some Grey Poupon today. Let’s show them what the pink dollar can do for their mustard shareholders! Before we know it all of our food will be covered in rainbows, unicorns, pink fairies and everything homo.
image from elene-kennedy.tumblr.com
In a perfect world we could all wear tutus to work. Maybe there should be a wear your tutu to work Friday. But because of Idaho Republican Cornel Rasor, we may never live in a perfect world. It appears the Mr. Rasor has tutuphobia and he is terrified that should anti discrimination laws be passed in Idaho, men will turn up to work wearing tutus.
Rasor said “I’d hire a gay guy if I thought he was a good worker. But if he comes into work in a tutu … he’s not producing what I want in my office.”
It’s Tutu Much for Equality in Idaho
This complete and utter stupidity has of course inspired an internet meme sensation and as we’d never heard of this Rasnor guy before, we think he has been crowned the tutued fairy queen of stupid.
This level of stupidity tolerated by Idaho politicians must see the wrath of Act of Gay. So, we present to you, not one, but two infestations being brought upon Idaho. First, let us introduce you to Hoary Cress, which we think might be aptly named, should Mr. Rasnor feel like a ‘hoar’, while secretly dressing in a tutu. Oh yes, “whip, me beat me, call me a dirty tutu wearing ‘hoar’ ” we can hear him crying. Hoary cress and other such invasive weeds are costing Idaho tax payers millions.
Eliminate Hoariness by Equalizing Homos
Stupidity on such a grand scale really does require double the infestation, so let us introduce you to the second blight to punish Idaho – The New Zealand Mudsnail, a tiny creature causing unknown havoc. Slimy and small, they are a menace that can only be eradicated through the elimination of tutuphobia.
Gay Snails Don’t Reproduce. Think about it Idaho
Fierce and frightening gay dingos are running rampage in Australia it seems. Act of Gay suggests that Australian legislators should get off the fence and stop acting like a bunch of wombats. (Act of Gay just wanted an excuse to refer to wombats, which are incredibly cute but not particularly fierce.)
Seriously though, how can Australia even waver on this issue with Aussies being well known to delight in a bit of gay parading. If Australian legislators are really trying to deny the authenticity of Australia’s essential gayness, please explain this…
image from gay-australia.qguide.com
this..
image from annamariacom.blogspot.com
and this.
image from Myfamilyproducts.net
For goodness sake Australia, this is why Act of Gay has had to become involved. We really didn’t want to, but we had no choice and look what you’ve made happen. A plague of wild dogs is now threatening your sheep industry. Please don’t force us to discuss sheep any more than this in the context of a blog on sexuality. We will just gently suggest that you could save your sheep by being nice to your gays.
Get rid of your gay hating politicians like DLP senator John Madigan, who clearly has no understanding of the history of marriage.
If They Can Vote on Our Rights, We Should Be Able to Vote on Theirs
Marriage existed long before your belief system did Mr. Homophobe Madigan, so shut up, sit down and let people marry the consenting adults that they love – unless you prefer sheep of course and we all know, Mr. Madigan, sheep can’t consent!
Image from Gay Travel Belize.com
An Act of Gay reporter has let us know that the power of the gays has been verified by the national news agency of the country of Belize. After recent flooding and rising rivers, their news reports:
“Greg Figueroa – “This dah di first time. I noh know if dah the UNIBAM brings this flooding yah, I don’t know fi it is the vibes but things change cause I noh see wah flooding like this ever ina mi life.” The News Verifies the Gays Did It
UNIBAM is a group in the country that is fighting homophobic laws. As we know, some countries have a fear of anything to do with the anus. Oh the buggers! Belize takes this one step further and bans anyone who indulges in a bit of butt play from even entering the country. So, if you’re visiting Belize, don’t try to slip in through the back door.
Is Belize one huge closet and are they all just screaming for liberation?
Belize is a country with two hunky shirtless men on it’s flag. It is hot, sweaty and tropical and yet it denies its inner gay spirit.
Act of Gay is very happy to accept responsibility for bringing high water to Belize. UNIBAM, the country’s group fighting for gay rights, is far too busy dealing with mean, mean laws to bother with floods – so don’t blame them. If you’re worried about more floods, be nice to your gays Belize or you’ll have to think about starting to build an Ark and this time, Noah will be a fag and no homophobes will be allowed!
Image by Artist Paul Richmond
Berkey & Gay Furniture Co.’s salesrooms, Grand Rapids, Michigan. [Grand Rapids views] (1870-1890)
Well, well, well. It would appear that Grand Rapids Michigan may indeed have a long and gay history. At least its furniture does. Either way, we’re happy to report that despite being lumbered with a completely bonkers politician wannabe, Richard Ryskamp, who describes himself as a ‘social conservative’ and has useful things to contribute to society such as:
University of Michigan engages in “the training of abortionists to the promotion of sodomy through courses like ‘How to be Gay.’” Mr. I Am Obsessed With Gay Sex
and
He also said the diversity programs are immoral, and have popularized “homosexual conduct” and engaged in “mocking Jesus Christ.”
This charming piece of human detritus was trying to push his homophobic, anti arts and anti green energy beliefs upon the Grand Rapids Community College. We do have to wonder how he managed to get himself elected to the Board of Trustees, but that is another issue. Fortunately, the rest of the Trustees, aside from another questionable person called Richard Stewart, who founded the Evangelical Choir Society, voted against his motions for the College to stop funding diversity, the arts and green energy.
Grand Rapids Will Have Plays, Solar Energy and Gays
For this reason, Act of Gay feels it is time to recognize the town of Grand Rapids Michigan, as it seems to be a wonderful place which embraces its gays. In fact, last Saturday, was West Michigan’s Gay Pride celebration with about 20,000 people in attendance.
Out and Proud in West Michigan
Not only that, but the much more entertaining and fabulous group the West Michigan’s Gay Men’s Chorus, who we adore for their natty dressing and adorable members, were there too!
With Grand Rapids Michigan just bursting at the seams with all this fabulousness, what on earth could Act of Gay do to truly let them know how much they are loved for their love of the gays.
Your gas prices are down! Oh yes. Time for even more celebrations. Act of Gay has clearly demonstrated the immense power of kindness towards the gays. This is our gift to you.
Gas Prices Take a Bow to Honor the Gays
image from rural intelligence.com
Today we congratulate and celebrate a bastion of true masculinity. Caterpillar – known for heavy machinery and long lasting work clothes, Act of Gay salutes you. Caterpillar truly understanding what it means to be a man’s man, has withdrawn their financial support for the Boy Scouts. And only true Men’s Men would be so comfortable in their masculinity as to have a female speak for them.
Caterpillar spokeswoman, Rachel Potts said:
“We have inclusive policies here at Caterpillar Inc., and the foundation abides by those,” she said. “We just don’t feel that our two organizations align.”
“However,” she added, “if there’s a change in the Boy Scouts’ policies, we would certainly consider a change in the future grants — if there was a change that aligned with what our non-discrimination policies are.”
Caterpillars Makes Trucks and Loves Gays
So, in true Act of Gay tradition, we are delighted to announce that Caterpillar have increased their dividends to investors by 15%. In this economic climate, that can’t be anything but an Act of Gay.
Love Gays and Watch it Grow for Your Members
Caterpillar, we, at Act of Gay, love you – in a platonic way. Nothing creepy or gropey – unless you wear some of those sexy work boots, then it might get hard.
image from David Dust – Hot Guys in Boots
We at Act of Gay just want to make sure we’ve heard this correctly. Grace University, in Omaha, Nebraska expelled a student for being a lesbian? What century has this University time warped back to? An institution that should be committed to the education of its students, destroys her academic career and then…..wait for it………they send her a bill for $6,000.
Absolutely No Grace University Charges Lesbian
This is archaic, certainly not part of any sort of education system recognized by Act of Gay as preparing people for the real world, where people have freedom of and freedom from religion – unless of course they live in a theocracy like Iran – but wait a minute. That seems to be exactly the sort of world that Grace University wants to create. Let’s look at some of their stated philosophies and try not to laugh too hard.
“Mankind is morally depraved and is dependent upon and answerable to a holy God.”
“The teacher and student are both significant in the educative process with the Holy Spirit being the chief source of both.”
“The Bible, God’s inerrant, authoritative revelation to man, provides the essence of truth.”
Well that suggests they provide a well rounded education. They made this poor student, who promised not to have sex, attended their ‘counseling’ sessions and the bastards still kicked her out.
So, Nebraska, we hate to do this to you, but the Act of Gay arrow is now pointed straight at you. Please enjoy your droughts and heat bursts, courtesy of the power of the gays – because you know we have that power.
Discrimination in Nebraska Means Less Beef
Act of Gay would also like to send this student a huge congratulations for so romantically proposing to her girlfriend at a Macklemore concert, marrying her partner and living happily ever after. The best way to fight hate is to love well. Go girls!
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