Putin’s Closet – Russia Looking Very Silly and Mean

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image from supreme-court21.blogspot.com

We hate to feel obliged to feature Russia, but they make themselves look so very foolish, that Act of Gay cannot simply ignore them and hope they go away.  After all, Russia is the land of the bears and Act of Gay loves bears.  There isn’t a world leader that likes to strip and show his man torso more than Russia’s President Putin, teasing and torturing the gay bears of Russia and so we must, we absolutely must, save Russia’s gay bears.

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Brave Russian gays took to the streets to show their pride and protest at new Russian anti LGBT laws this weekend.  When we say ‘brave’, we really mean ‘brave’.  We all know how kind, gentle and humanitarian the Russian police are, especially where gays are concerned.

Russia Beats Their Own Meat over Gay Rights

Let’s have a look at some good ‘ole Russia PR, showing just how good they are to their people.

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image from Belfasttelegraph.co.uk

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image from guardian.co.uk

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image from newswhip.com

Act of Gay thinks that there are only three logical reasons why Russia, their government and their police would act so brutally to a bunch of rainbow waving gays, who are hurting no one.  1.  Could Vladamir Putin be gay and be so deeply in the closet that he is expressing his self hatred by taking it out on his fellow Russians?  Let’s examine this first theory in images.

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image from stumbleinn.net.

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image from gawkerassets.com

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image from putinputanka.blogspot.com

An image speaks louder than words.  So, let’s look at theory number 2.  Russian men are all gay, but desperately in the closet.

Refer to images above…oh and this one!

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image from imgfave.com

OK, we have to be completely gratuitous and show you this one as well.

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image from accidentalbear.com (somehow we don’t think this is accidental)

Finally, theory 3)  Men who join the Russian police are all little boys with small penises and they join the police so that they can legally bully their fellow Russians.  Shall we take a look at the evidence?

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image from einsamerkrieger.wordpress.com

Imageimage from hrw.org

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image fro telegraph.co.uk

Now that we’ve expressed our theories, we’ll let you, our readers make up your own minds about the cause of Russia’s silliness.  While you do that, we’ll bring you some Acts of Gay.

Russia, did you know that being assholes will sink your economy?  Investment growth in Russia for the first five months of this year has been exactly – zero!

Homophobia Tanks Russia’s Economy

Hey Russia, your hockey boys lost to the USA.  Now that must majorly hurt your pride…oh wait a minute, you don’t allow ‘pride’ in Rusia.  Hahahahaha!

Russian Hockey Team Loses to USA

Your car industry isn’t looking too hot right now either Russia.  Perhaps if your government spent more time on taking care of the country and less time on people’s sex lives, things might not be looking so bad for you.

General Motors Generally Knows that Russia has Been Hit by an Act of Gay

As if that weren’t enough, Act of Gay knows just how to deal with a country that interferes with the freedom to pork.  Screw the pork industry.  Swine fever knows where homophobic swines are and right now, they are mainly in Russia (OK there are quite a few in Africa, the Caribbean and the USA, but right now we’re talking about Russian pigs)

Russian Swine Fever Epidemic Could be an Act of Gay

gay pig

We wish there was better news from Russia for the LGBT community, but Act of Gay stands in solidarity with them.  And so, we leave you with this!

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