Get Fake Gay Married in Curacao

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image from edgeboston.com

As Act of Gay readers, you’ll know that not only does Act of Gay love to present fabulous blessings to those who are nice and natural disaster like Acts of Gay to those who are naughty, not in an nice way.  But we have a greater obligation that we have discovered through our journey and that is to improve world geography knowledge among the LGBT community.  Knowledge is Power!

So, today we present you with Curacao.  Curacao is a cute little island off the coast of Venezuela.  It is part of the ‘Kingdom of the Netherlands’.  Netherlands, of course, having nothing to do with your ‘nether’ region, but more to do with Holland!  Oh yes, Holland, who we proudly covered recently in Act of Gay.  Being associated with the very gay friendly Dutch and being a Caribbean island could cause some consternation and confusion and guess what?  By golly, it does.  But before we go there, I must remind you that in our previous coverage of Holland, we discussed the Dutch (Dutch are people from Holland; Holland is the Netherlands and also part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands) journalists  arrested in Russia for spreading homosexuality.  Yes, we know there is no actual law using the term ‘spreading homosexuality’, but we think it fits and we like the word ‘spreading’. So be it.  Anyway, it turns out that one of the journalists that was arrested was from Curacao and that, combined with the encouragement of an intrepid Act of Gay reporter, brought us back to investigating this little island.  But before we move on, we do have to announce that all of those arrested in Russia have been released.

Curacao promotes itself, as a country, being something like an LGBT heaven sack floating on the turquoise waves of justice.  OK, well maybe not, but the country even issued a press release celebrating the success of same sex marriage in the USA.  It went like this.

“The southern Caribbean island of Curaçao, one of the most welcoming Caribbean islands for gay travelers, proudly joins the LGBT community in celebrating the recent decision to overturn the “Defense of Marriage Act”. Curaçao has long welcomed the world’s LGBT community to its tropical paradise, offering a friendly, safe, and inclusive experience for all travelers. The island’s “melting pot” history has led to a progressive ‘live and let live’ philosophy that makes Curaçao the ideal destination for Caribbean commitment ceremonies and honeymoons.”

Celebrate in Gay Paradise?

Wow!  Let’s all move to Curacao quickly. It truly is …..wait a minute.  (sound of brakes screeching).   People from Curacao can’t get married if they have the same bits in their ‘nether’ regions.  Two penises = no marriage in Curacao.  Two vaginas = no marriage in Curacao.  This is just a little bit confusing to us.  The country celebrates equal marriage in another country, while denying its own citizens the same?   Oh no, could it get worse? Please tell it it doesn’t.

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image from fourteenstyle.com

So, let’s recap.  The island markets itself as a gay friendly destination.  It advertises ‘wedding’ packages on the island.  It celebrates the legalization of gay marriage in other countries.  You can’t get married there if you are gay.   Even if your marriage in another country is recognized in Curacao, you still don’t have the same rights as a married couple. Confused much?  We are.

The law, as it stands in Curacao, is that because of its membership to the Kingdom of the Netherlands, it recognizes same sex marriages officiated in Holland (remember, that’s where the Dutch come from), a few islands that are part of the Kingdom and which have recognized gay marriage; Saba, Bonaire and Sint Eustatius and anywhere else gay marriage is legal.  But residents nor tourists nor anyone of the gay or even gayish persuasion can get married in Curacao.    You can, of course, get pretend married if you like though and that’s what seems to be on offer.

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image from frenchkissthebride.com

The image above is from a real pretend gay wedding in Curacao.  We love these guys and they are very handsome and it looks like a beautiful location.  We also congratulate them on their real gay marriage in New York!  But we did feel obliged to use their images to illustrate that no matter how wonderful a place looks and how happy they are to take your tourist dollar, a pretend wedding is …well…a pretend wedding.

Curacao seems to be confused by many things such as whether they have oil or not.

Does Curacao Actually Have Any Oil

According to one scientist:

There are no proven, probable, possible, inferred, undiscovered or any other type of reserves of oil or gas that have ever been identified, qualified or quantified. To my knowledge there is no history of any seeps or shows. Therefore statements by some parliamentarians to the effect there is an “over 90 percentage” chance of discovery or “most likely oil and gas in the Curacao territorial waters”, while adding to popular mythology, are without sound technical basis.

We’re somewhat curious as to whether this is the attitude towards gays and gay marriage there as the commonly given reason for not allowing gay marriage is ‘Catholicism’.   So, as long as there are no gay marriages, there are probably no gays?  So, because they have no gays, they have a natural niche perhaps and so they have to advertise for foreign gays to come and get pretend married.  A bit like getting foreign oil companies to come and drill for pretend oil?

Well, we’re pleased to hear that Curacao LGBT people have had enough and have planned their first official Pride Celebration to be held in September this year.  Even more so they are hosting All Caribbean Pride in May, which will welcome gays (most of whom are sadly unwelcome in their own country) from all over the Caribbean.  So, even though gays can only get pretend married in Curacao, the island nation seems to be working positively with pride to remain true to it’s reputation as the Caribbean’s most gay friendly island.  Given the Caribbean’s general attitude to LGBT people, just not beating them up and killing them would make them seem gay friendly.   Credit where credit is due.

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image from edgeonthenet.com

So, we’re going easy on Curacao today. We like the fact that they welcome our money.  We also like the discounts offered, but really, we’d love you to let your LGBT citizens get real married.  In the meantime, here’s a gentle Act of Gay word of warning and advice.

You see how your economy has shrunk in the last year?  Yeah, it’s not wonderful, is it Curacao?  You really want to see your economy grow.

Curacao Has Less Money Than Before

Just imagine what Act of Gay could do to help your economy if you allowed real gay marriages.  All that pink and rainbow money fluttering down from the skies and floating in on cruise ships.  Curacao, just keep that vision in your mind for now, work towards making it a reality and then come back to us. Act of Gay will be happy to send some of our powers your way to make sure that your economy is happy and merry and gay in the future.

Meanwhile, Act of Gay is proud of the LGBT community in Curacao and will be sending lots of Act of Gay powers their way in September for excellent weather, no locusts or pestilence.

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image from gaycuracao.com

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Gay Save the Queens!

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image from tumblr.com

The shockwave felt around the world.  The Queen of all Queens, Queen Elizabeth II signed the little slip of rainbow covered paper that gave Royal Assent to equal marriage for all of the gays in England and Wales.  Unfortunately, those in Scotland and Northern Ireland may have a short wait, but we know that they won’t be far behind in equality.

Queer Subjects Get Royal Approval

The gays have always loved the Queen and she has reputedly always loved them in return, supposedly having many as her close employees and confidantes over the years.  On the other hand she also came under some criticism from gay rights campaigners in England for not opening supporting the gay community.  British human rights activist, Peter Tatchell, back in 2005 said:

The Palace says the Queen cannot be a homophobe. Look at all the gay staff she employs. So what? Is having queer servants proof of an absence of prejudice? I think not. Examine the way Elisabeth Windsor has treated her gay employees. Until a few years ago, there was a ban on Palace staff bringing same-sex partners to the annual Royal Household Christmas Ball. This Monarchy-sanctioned homophobia was overturned only after the gay rights group OutRage! protested outside Buckingham Palace. Shamed by public exposure, the same-sex partner ban was lifted. But why did it take an OutRage! demo to force the Queen to drop her discrimination? Gay staff should have bought an employment discrimination suit. They should have, but they couldn’t. The Queen is exempt from equality legislation. She can discriminate with impunity. The Monarchy is above the law and out of touch with modern standards of civilised behaviour.

Peter Called her The Queen of Homophobia Back Then

Today he’s celebrating with the rest of the LGBT community in the UK, but quite rightly highlights the fact that even though gays can now get married, the new legislation still, bizarrely, does not offer equal rights.  In fact it bars the Churches of England and Wales from performing gay marriages even if they choose to do so.

No Divorce for Gays on Basis of Adultery?

But we aren’t going to nit pick today.  Not when there is so much to celebrate. We’re so happy for the British boys.

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image from tnt24.ie

We’re delighted for the girls.

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image from onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com

We’re beyond happy for their children, families and loved ones.  Congratulations!!!!

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This means that the Royal Family deserves a little bit of Act of Gay love; don’t you think?  So let’s see what our gay powers can do when the Queen makes the gay peasants happy.

Well first of all, as the gay community are the leaders in the fashion stakes, the queen has gone viral for her rainbow colored fashion sense and we believe that this, in itself is recognition of her Queenulousness.

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We mustn’t forget that the Queen is expecting her great grand child at any moment now.  If that weren’t special enough, Act of Gay felt that a little extra love, sent her way, might just improve her mood enough so that she’d be happy to sign for the gays.   So, she’s got a second great grand baby on the way.  No chance of that lineage dying out any time soon.

The Royal Breeders Multiply

But if there’s one thing that excites the Queen more than babies, that’s winning at cricket, that uniquely British sport.  She was so excited by England’s win last weekend that she was reported to have given a royal fist pump.  We do find it ironic that she pumped her fist just before giving assent to gay marriage, but we’re too tasteful to go there. No really, we are.

Queen Pumps Fist

Truly, this is such a memorable and important event for the family of gays and the Royal Family of Britain, we felt that Act of Gay had to go the extra mile to bring something truly fabulous bringing both legacies together in preparation for the celebration. What better way to do that than in the amazing form of soul singer, Beverly Knight, known for her committed love of all things gay and who bravely once said:

” I think black people need to remember that whenever they gay-bash, they’re bashing at least ten per cent of their own community. I know a number of young, gay black men who live a lie every day of their lives because they are terrified of the ramifications of just being themselves.

“My friend who died hated the fact that being a black, gay man had to be such a burden for him. So it really breaks my heart to hear talented reggae artists falling into this trap of gay-bashing.”

Beverley Disses Homophobia

Beverley played at Buckingham Palace and we at Act of Gay believe that she worked her way into the heart and soul of the Queen to help her with her fist pumps and signatures, to make sure that England could celebrate it’s cricket and its gays in fine style.

Beverley Spreads the Love at the Palace

There are so many things that Act of Gay has come up with to make sure that this whole thing came together as it should. After all, we hold the power of the Gay in our well oiled fists, but we have one final little gift for the The Royal Family, which is both kitchly gay and royal.  The popularity of royal baby memorabilia has hit an all time high with the British public expected to spend nearly half a million dollars on it.

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image from blogs.northcountrypublicradio.com

We believe that there are two things that were likely to increase the popularity of the Royal Family:  A new royal baby (or two) and a shout out to the queers.  Well Queen Elizabeth II, you’ve hit the jackpot this time and we love you.

Royal Babies Worth a Fortune

But before we leave our wonderful Act of Gayers, we’d like to make sure that you never forget our second favorite Queen of England, Quentin Crisp.

New Zealand Gays Have Wings

image from immigrationvisaattorneyblog.com You may or may not know that gay marriage in New Zealand will be legal from the 19th of August this year.  To celebrate Air New Zealand is going to hold the country’s first gay marriage at … Continue reading

Plenty of Good News in Pennsylvania – Act of Gay tells you why

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image from philidelphiaweekly.com

Did we, at Act of Gay, hear correctly?  Can it  be true?  We’ll never tell another lawyer joke again. The quite delightful Kathleen Kane, Attorney General of Pennsylvania, has refused to fight a lawsuit brought against the US State by the America Civil Liberties Union challenging the state’s ban on gay marriage.

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image from politicspa.com

We’re happy to introduce you to this ballsy woman, who has shown solidarity with her queer Pennsylvania community and stood up for equal rights for all.

Act of Gay salutes the Pennsylvania Attorney General and hopes that the Governor will now do the right thing and refuse to contest the case at all.  It would be stupid to waste all those tax payers dollars on being W-R-O-N-G!

Doin’ the Right thing in PA

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image from ebay.com

It’s no surprise to Act of Gay that in the same week that the Attorney General of Pennsylvania has brought a ray of sunshine to the legal profession that miracles are occurring all over the state.

Is it a coincidence that on the same day that this announcement was made, a little 5 year old girl who went missing was found safe by two teenagers?

Act of Gay Says Hooray for Little Girl Found in PA

What could beat that happy ending?  Well, there were more child like miracles yesterday that may just be Acts of Gay.  We wonder what you call a 14lb baby?

Giant Baby Celebration

The children are indeed a gift that keeps on giving.

Little Ganesh Selvakumar of Pennsylvania, went to the White House yesterday and got to meet the fabulous first lady, Michelle Obama.  He received this honor for creating a simply delicious chutney recipe and was the Pennsylvania winner of the 2013 Healthy Lunchtime Challenge.  We have no doubt that a sprinkle of rainbow dust is what made the recipe a real winner.

Act of Gay Promotes Health in PA

Because Act of Gay is so excited by all these young miracles who symbolize the importance of equality, fairness and liberty for all, we’d like to make a big shout out to all the gay parents and families out there.  You make us proud!

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Pennsylvania, Act of Gay reminds you that we may be able to heavily influence the possibility of miracles or natural disasters in your state because the gays were granted that power by those who hate gays. (Isn’t that ironic?)  We urge you to set an example to the rest of the USA that the home of independence is also the home of true equality for all Americans.  Please give children in Pennsylvania the right to have married parents, whatever their gender or sexual orientation and also give children the hope to know that they will grow up in a state free of bigotry, where they will be able to marry the person they love.

China’s Gay Marriage with the USA and Rainbow Love for Germany

image from mgay.366la.com China, you are in our big, fat, rainbow Act of Gay eye.  Many may not know it, but China has been ahead of the gay game for a while.  They decriminalized homosexuality before the USA and appear … Continue reading

The Gay Marriage Costa Rica Whoopsie

image – puppy at Costa Rica IDAHO parade 2013 from innovationsoup.io Costa Rica is a beautiful Central American country, not known for being intolerant of it’s beautiful gay community.  Nor of its beautiful wildlife. from CostaRicagaymap.com Apparently though, it is … Continue reading

Today Act of Gay Salutes USA and Rhymes All The Way

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image from The Newyorker.com

Well we just wanted to celebrate on behalf of all of our gay and fabulous brothers and sisters in the USA and say ‘Hooray!’. We are feeling very rhymey today but that’s because it’s a Gay Day in the USA!!!!

Fuck you homophobes

Just in case you don’t understand what all that means, let us help you.

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Oh yes we did.  Did you get that you mean American homophobes!

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It’s all about this now!

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And in case you need some help understanding.

gay marriage usa the facts

Enough gloating now. It’s time for Act of Gay to present you with the sort of miracle that demonstrates the power of the gays and what happens when you’re good to them.   Well, Gay USA – you’re stock market is taking off in a big way!  Do I hear you say hooray????

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Congratulations America and all our American Queer friends, fans, followers, reporters and everyone else.  Things can only just keep getting better!

American Stock Market Gets a Hard On for the Gays

Rainbow Dingos to Plague Australia

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Fierce and frightening gay dingos are running rampage in Australia it seems.  Act of Gay suggests that Australian legislators should get off the fence and stop acting like a bunch of wombats.  (Act of Gay just wanted an excuse to refer to wombats, which are incredibly cute but not particularly fierce.)

Seriously though, how can Australia even waver on this issue with Aussies being well known to delight in a bit of gay parading.  If Australian legislators are really trying to deny the authenticity of Australia’s essential gayness, please explain this…

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image from gay-australia.qguide.com

this..

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image from annamariacom.blogspot.com

and this.

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image from Myfamilyproducts.net

For goodness sake Australia, this is why Act of Gay has had to become involved. We really didn’t want to, but we had no choice and look what you’ve made happen.  A plague of wild dogs is now threatening your sheep industry.  Please don’t force us to discuss sheep any more than this in the context of a blog on sexuality.  We will just gently suggest that you could save your sheep by being nice to your gays.

Gay Dingos on Rampage

Get rid of your gay hating politicians like DLP senator John Madigan, who clearly has no understanding of the history of marriage.

If They Can Vote on Our Rights, We Should Be Able to Vote on Theirs

Marriage existed long before your belief system did Mr. Homophobe Madigan, so shut up, sit down and let people marry the consenting adults that they love – unless you prefer sheep of course and we all know, Mr. Madigan, sheep can’t consent!

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Act of Gay in Outer Space

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Image from Wallmay .net

Birds do it, bees do it, even Ecuadorans do it….  Yes, we’re talking about love.  Apparently though it’s not part of ‘nature’ for gay Ecuadorans to do it.  It’s interesting that gay Ecuadorans are so much different from the rest of us natural gays.  Well, this is the case according to the Ecuadoran President, who has stated his opposition to both gay marriage and gay adoption.

Are Gay Ecuadorans from Outer Space?

You would think that a President would be a bit better informed, because if he were, he’d know that the most up to date research shows that children who have same sex parents are healthier and their families are closer.  I suppose the President of Ecuador doesn’t want Ecuadoran children to be healthier and have closer relationships with their parents.  That would be the only explanation we can see.

We Might Not Breed Them, But we Raise ’em Better

So, Act of Gay, in a far out demonstration of space power has to announce that Ecuador’s only satellite, with the immensely heterosexual name ‘Pegasus’, is now spinning wildly through space like a whirling dervish.

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We also wouldn’t want to comment on the fact that Pegasus is only 4 inches in length.  We have no doubt that if the satellite had been built by gay engineers, it would have been longer and girthier and been able to withstand a bombardment of ‘space particles’.  Could this be an Act of Gay?  We urge Ecuador to get their President to read a bit more and get better informed and hire some gay engineers for their space program.

Ecuador Sends Heterosexual 4 inches Into Space – Space Not Impressed